In other words: How to spot a former English major
1. You shamelessly idolize great authors. Some people have celebrity crushes, but you lean more towards literary crushes.
2. You have developed a facial tic from having to resist the urge to correct the poor grammar of people you speak to.
3. You can crank out a ten-page essay in about an hour. 500 word limit? That’s just your introduction.
4. You will never forget than damn turtle from Grapes of Wrath.
5. You analyze everything.
6. You cringe when people ask you to ” help ” them with their essay, but you can’t deny the deep-seated need to write essays. Or edit them. Or read them. Or do anything involving them.
7. You still say things like, “Well, the imagery here . . .” and “This point here illustrates. . .” and “I feel that the author. . .”
8. You find subtext, symbolism, parallelisms in everything you read. You point out issue with syntax when you dislike the narrative of a novel.
9. You refer to going off on tangents as “pulling a Victor Hugo”. Or is that just me?
10. You have an interior monologue going all the time. You just cannot stop narrating.
11. You still roll your eyes when someone mentions ‘ APA Formatting ‘. MLA is where it’s at, yo.
12. Scrabble is too easy, and it’s hard to find someone who presents a challenge.
13. You will defend your favorite book until you take your very last breath.
14. You speak awkwardly, yet you write eloquently.
15. You laugh at jokes like: Bronte? She’s a breath of fresh Eyre. Yes, I chuckled when typing that.