25 Struggles of the Female Nerd

Cthulhu knows that, even though it’s 2015, it’s hard to be a nerdy girl in today’s society. People like to tell us that we couldn’t possibly be real nerds, just as much as they like to tell us that we’re too nerdy. It never really occurred to these people – generally obnoxious dudes – that we are not seeking their approval or validation. We’re just trying to do our nerdy thing over here, so chill out.

Being a nerdy girl can be totally worth it when you get to geek out with your friends, but there are some definite struggles to being a female nerd:

  1. Your friends have agreed to see the Marvel movies with you, but then you have to explain why the comic book universe plot lines are NOT the same as the cinematic universe plot lines.
  2. You have to downplay your extensive Firefly knowledge in order to avoid seeing a bit TOO obsessive. Plus, they love to ask you why – if it was so good – there was only one season.
    25 struggles of the female nerd - booklexia - ap bullard
  3. You cringe when people say they’re TOTAL NERDS for wearing fake glasses and playing Animal Crossing.
  4. You see nothing wrong with watching cartoons. Look, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has some pretty emotionally intense parts, okay? There are life lessons to be had here.
  5. Guys feel the need to test your nerd cred. It doesn’t matter that they haven’t read every single issue of Batman, because they’re going to ask you the most obscure questions possible because, you know, you haven’t earned the right to wear that Batman shirt.
    25 struggles of the female nerd - booklexia - ap bullard
  6. At first, guys ask if you even read comics. In the next moment, they want you to stop talking about the physics behind Gwen Stacy’s death and how it served as a pivotal point in Spider-Man’s life and in comics as a whole. In fact, it’s often considered to be the end of the Silver Age of Comics. . .
  7. The very concept of “fake nerd girl” or “fake geek girl” makes you see red.
  8. You have very strong feelings about the fact that female characters are often over sexualized, and have armor/costumes that are not logical for fighting.
  9. Whenever you mention the fact that you love vampires and vampire lore, people immediately ask if you like that Twilight Have they never heard of Bram Stoker, or even Buffy??
  10. Non-nerds look at you like you’re crazy when you wear Lei buns on May 4th.
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  11. You constantly correct people who refer to Anime as ‘cartoons.’
  12. Friends don’t like watching Game of Thrones with you because you can’t stop mentioning the fact that THAT DID NOT HAPPEN IN THE BOOK.
  13. You also wish THAT had never happened in the fan-fic.
  14. You love playing table-top RPGs, but have had issues with a DM sexualizing your D&D
  15. You REALLY wish superhero costumes weren’t so sexist/revealing.
  16. You will never be over Firefly. Ever.
  17. Certain phrases involving the words “Wash”, “leaf”, and/or “wind” make you incredibly sad. That was entirely unfair, Joss.
  18. Can we have a Black Widow movie now? Please?
    give it to me now
  19. When you are super into something that has a very tiny or underground fandom. Discworld, anyone?
  20. Even if it’s not exactly tiny, it’s hard to find anyone else who’s into it. MST3K, anyone?
  21. Clothing intended for men is far more comfortable, cheaper, and function than clothing intended for women. Where are OUR nerdy shirts?
  22. And I’m not talking about the shirts that feature a pink, glittery Batman. Or super fitted, tight shirts. Oh, and it would be nice if they weren’t so damn thin.
  23. “You don’t look like a nerd. . .you’re too hot to be a nerd…you’re con hot.”
  24. There are plenty of male action figures, but it would be really great if you could find a female action figure. Looking at you, Marvel.
  25. Using the mic while gaming is very risky.

Are you a female nerd? Do you have anything to add to this list? Let me know in the comments below!

Alexia (2)



  1. Honestly, you had me from your very first point. Even my other nerd friends get annoyed when I go into detailed intricacies of the many alternate Spider-Man verses. Oh, and then there’s people who omit the hyphen in Spider-Man! Trust me, Alexia, I feel your pain. Loved this post! xx

    Stephanie | http://www.ouistephanie.com

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much!!

      Yes! I have the exact same problem, and it really irks me when they omit the hyphen. How can they leave a salient aspect of his NAME?!

      Thanks so much for reading! I’m glad you liked it. 🙂

      xo, Alexia


  2. I can identify with so many of these, especially Firefly and the stupid Twilight questions and people calling Miyazaki’s work “kids cartoons”. You didn’t mean Terry Pratchetts Disk World? All of my friends over 40 have at least read part of it – not that they would go online to discuss it though…Ah I see.


  3. I can identify with so many of these, especially Firefly and the stupid Twilight questions and people calling Miyazaki’s work “kids cartoons”. You didn’t mean Terry Pratchetts Disk World? All of my friends over 40 have at least read part of it – not that they would go online to discuss it though…Ah I see.


    • I try not to get offended by them calling Miyazaki’s work “kid cartoons”, as well, but it’s nearly impossible!

      Yes, Discworld. My parents got me into it when I was younger, and I’ve been a huge fan of Sir Pratchett’s ever since. (I did a post about his death, though it was not on this blog.)

      I don’t have any friends who have even heard of it, let alone read it. *sigh*

      Thanks for reading!!

      xo, Alexia


    • Oh, I bet cosplaying Harley made for some incredibly unpleasant experiences. The number of creeps and those “I must test your knowledge!” dudes when I cosplayed as her were overwhelming.

      It gets to be absolutely ridiculous.

      (P.S. I love that you sign as “Mal”. I know it’s short for your name, but…*fangirls*)

      Xo, Alexia


  4. […] I teared up in parts, but mostly I spent my reading time trying to stifle my laughter so as to not wake up my sleeping husband! Her writing is honest, hilarious, and conversational. It was like sitting down and chatting with an old friend. Some of the tech-geek parts may deter some readers, but I think it’s safe to say that I recommend it to any of my fellow nerds.  […]


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