We’ve all been there. You’re out with your friends, having a good time and really not looking for anything more than a nice, honest, and trustworthy guy who will check off all the boxes on your checklist. He’s everything you’ve wanted, and he fits your fantasy to a T.
This guy walks right by you, but your eye catches that other guy and you suddenly forget how to breathe. You know what I mean. He’s got that confident swagger that means he knows what he’s working with, he knows what he wants, and he knows how he’s got it. Leather jacket, strong jawline, tattoos, and piercings. He’s got a capped CHA stat, and the body an Adonis. You are begging to see what his DEX stat is like, and you just know he’s got a Legendary item. He’s got that…well…that something that you just can’t resist. And all the girls are checking him out.
He’s not what you’re looking for. You know he’s going to break your heart, but you’ll be damned if he wouldn’t look good doing it. He’s what is commonly known as a Bad Boy, and he smells like what dreams are made of.
You start talking, and you find out he can rattle off even the most obscure Marvel trivia. He rivals you in terms of Nerd Cred, and he has a giant nerdy backpiece tattoo. He’s hilarious. He’s charming. He’s hot as hell, but he’s also inhuman when it comes to interpersonal relationships. He doesn’t care about you, he just wants you to look pretty and be available when he wants company – usually late at night.
If you know you want more than sex, it’s up to you to set the template for the relationship. How you speak and the ways in which you express your needs for partnership are essential to the initial courtship process. But, what if you just assume he feels the same way you do? What if you think he’s into you, and are caught off-guard every time he makes you cry or doesn’t care enough to comfort you when something horrible happens? What do you do when you realize his phone is always set on vibrate, so it never rings? When he blatantly checks out – and even comments on – other girls in front of you? When he knows practically every girl in the county, let alone the city? What do you when you can’t run into one single female friend he hasn’t slept with? Is he a Player, or is he just popular?
Players have specific “tells”, much like Poker players. “Tells” are the involuntary reactions in one’s body language and/or facial expressions that reveal that they are lying. No matter how hard people try to cover up their true emotions, the truth will always come out at some point.
Want to speed up the process? Read on for the obvious “Tells” of a Player:
They come on as strong as Bowser.
Players Seek and Destroy. They move in fast, and they come on hard. They’re always focused on that finish line – seeing you naked. They really want to see you right now, and shower you with seductive attention. He will compliment you with almost too-good-to-be-true frequency. He will maintain that eye contact that makes your knees weak.
There’s always a sense of urgency.
The entire pace of your courtship is Sonic fast. Players live in the “right now”, and then they move on to the next. They don’t have time to woo you and draw it out. They want to see you now, or in the next couple of hours – Either way, it has to be tonight.
Negging – It’s a thing.
Negging is when a guy puts you down, or criticizes your physical appearance, in order to make you feel insecure and vulnerable. As a result, you will be more likely to settle and work harder for his attention. If he goes from complimentary (usually sexual compliments) and then suddenly critiques your physical appearance (“You would be prettier if. . .”), this is most likely what he is doing.
He catches you off-guard
He breaks down your walls, and leaves you feeling dizzy and confused. He’s intense, focused, and attentive, and it gets to the point that even being in his mere presence puts you in ecstasy. Not in a good way, but more like because he chose YOU to spend time with, when you know he has girls hitting him up all the time.
You haven’t met any of his friends, or only met one or two
If he has a lot of other girls that he’s hanging out with, he’s not going to introduce all of you to his friends. The more girls he hangs out with, the more likely one his boys is to slip up and mention one of them.
He gets mad if you call
If you call just once or twice, and he gets mad, that’s sketchy. He shouldn’t have a problem with it, unless there is another girl he’s hanging out with, and he has to explain who you are and why you are calling.
He leaves the room for calls
Having to take a call one or two times isn’t a big deal. However, a guy who is always leaving the room for calls, or is constantly checking and ignoring calls or texts…that’s a red flag. It’s even worse if his phone is ALWAYS on vibrate. Does he take it with him to the bathroom? Or leave it face-down in your presence? Are you NEVER allowed to touch it? Yeah…red flag.
We’ve all known at least one guy who fits the typical Bad Boy/Player stereotype. He’s hot, has the body of an Adonis, and has a capped CHA stat. He couldn’t possibly level up any higher, he smells like what dreams are made of, and you just know he’s packing a Legendary item. Yeah. He’s hot.
He’s also arrogant, cocky as all hell, inconsiderate, inattentive, and practically inhuman when it comes to interpersonal relationships. He’s as swoon-worthy as Tom Hiddleston in a wet T-shirt, but recognizing the signs can help protect your heart from being shattered into a million pieces. When it comes to your heart, a Player/Bad Boy is going to be like Link – he will just come in and smash them all to little pieces. He’s just after your Rupees, and doesn’t care how much damage he does to get them.
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